Count Down to the Cancer Free Boo-bee Day!

Well, the countdown is on until the BIG Boo-bee day. One more week until Dr. BK transforms me into a new and improved LADY!  Like I have said many times, having cancer isn’t so bad.  I’ll take designer boobs and a flat tummy any day!  Maybe I can talk him into doing a little Botox in between my eyes (on my forhead) too!  I know what you are thinking... I have totally lost my mind. 

But my friend Trace has been trying to get me "ready" for this life changing event.  She tells me this surgery is going to be tough and the recovery is really, really long.  Trace shared she was in the hospital for more than a week and in ICU for part of the time.  Then she came home and had to use a walker for three weeks!  What?  A walker like what old people need? I just about fainted when she told me that!  I was thinking I would be back at the gym in a couple weeks.  Man, if I have to use a walker, that’s really going to slow me down on the treadmill!

Now, don’t mistake Trace for one of those fragile flower chicks because she is telling me how hard it was for her.  I've never met her in person, but I can tell she is one of those “Don’t Mess with Texas Gals” who lives on a ranch.  Or at least she has a steer and I don’t think Houston neighborhoods allow large animals to be backyard pets (but maybe so).  Anyway, I think she can tell I am probably not as tough as her and more of the “fragile flower” type.  Therefore, she is really (realistically) trying to prepare me for the next couple weeks.  For example, I really appreciate her telling me I may not be able to wash my hair for a couple days.  You know, because there are some really cute hats out this time of year that will match my jammies perfectly!      

Since we have less than a week until we are due back in Houston, I’ve been in a mad dash trying to tie up loose ends at work, and then at home trying to clean the house REALLY good, finish my Christmas shopping and make arrangements for Mikayla while we are gone.  Thankfully, Brittney will be staying with her (and Kosmo, our little dog), but it will require her to commute most days to Ada (1 ½ hours one way) for work, but I think she may be able to carpool some of the time.  Please pray for her safety and that she and Mikayla won’t kill each other.  You probably understand the love/hate relationship with sisters (especially since one is a teenager) can be challenging.  But, they are sweet girls and know they love each other so I am sure they will be just fine. 

I’ll probably update my blog the first part of next week but after Wednesday, Brittney will be updating to give you status updates on my surgery and recovery.  Thank you again for all the prayers, positive thoughts and comments.  It is so comforting knowing so many people are supporting me through this journey.    

The Famous Dr. BK

Last Friday we met The Booby King (Dr. BK) and he was definitely worth the wait.  But while we were waiting, we did enjoy being in Galveston with my Daddy and Mary Ann for a couple days.  Being on the beach, breathing the salt water air and basking in the sun is always good for my soul. 

Okay, so we showed up at Dr. BK’s office Friday morning and I noticed no one else was there.  When the nurse was checking me in she asked if I was told that Dr. BK would not be available and that one of his fellow doctors would probably be seeing me.  Of course, this was a BIG surprise to me as I told her (in my nicest controlled voice) that it was MY impression Dr. BK would be there for the consultation.  She stated she would try paging him, but typically he did not see patients on Fridays because it was reserved for his “academic” day and he would probably not be able to see me.  Hmmmm… does academic day = golf day?

So she takes me into this room and tells me to change into a robe.  Then she hands me this little package and says Dr. BK likes all his patients wear “photo panties” for all the pictures.  I guess I must have had a distressed and panic look on my face.  Umm… photo panties?  Maybe we have come to the wrong office.  I guess she read my mind because she went on to explain that during my reconstructive process I would have lots of photos taken so they could document before, after, progress, etc.  It was at that moment, I realized the room looked like a mini glamour shot set.   Oh great, I knew I should have had Romeo give me a quick spray tan before we came to Houston.  Darn, darn, darn!  But in the end, there were not any photos….

A couple minutes later another lady comes into the room and introduces herself as Dr. Proctor.   She informs me Dr. BK has been paged but may not be able to join us this morning (like we’re going to have brunch or something).  So she begins explaining all the reconstruction options, blah, blah, blah.  Suddenly there is a knock on the door and guess who arrived?  Yes, it was the infamous Booby King!  I felt like jumping up and giving him a big hug, but of course, I contain myself, because I don’t want him to think I am a stalker or anything.  You know, since I begged to see him earlier in the week.

So he explains all the options again, state the pros/cons of each, recovery times, risks, best cosmetic results, etc. In the end, I select the option to use my own tissue to build the reconstruction.  In simple terms, it works like this… pretend like my body fat is an iPad (Generation Three, of course), BK will undock it from my tummy (fat, muscle and blood vessels) and redock into a new iHome (or iMam as Romeo says) and it plays works the same.  Not only do I get a new and improved lady part, but also a FLAT tummy too!  Woohoo… sign me up!

But the bad news is, this is a very complex surgery which requires longer recovery.  My research indicates only a micro surgeon can perform this task because all the blood vessels have to be reengineered; which explains why none of the doctors I interviewed previvously offered me this option.  It could take Dr. BK 6-8 hours to finish the surgery (after Dr. Sarah clears the landscape.)  This results in a 5-7 day hospital stay, followed by 2-3 weeks needing assistance doing simple personal tasks.  Oh my… I’m not sure my Romeo is ready to help me do EVERYTHING.  He understands I’m pretty private about bathroom type things; not to mention I hate having bad hair days and never leave the house without makeup.  So please pray we have extra patience with each other during this time. 

During the surgery, the doctors will test my lymph nodes to determine if the cancer has spread to the rest of my body.  We are optimistic that we have caught it early and the cancer has not spread.  But if it is found in my lymph nodes, I will for sure have to undergo chemotherapy and maybe radiation.  But, since the invasive tumor found during the lumpectomy was only 2.2 millimeters, it is my understanding the chances the cancer has spread is low.  But this is still a hurdle we have not crossed and could ultimately change the game plan again.

I am so relieved we finally have a plan and know my road to recovery begins on 11/7 when Dr. Sarah and BK perform my surgery.  Please know I am very confident we have chosen the best doctors and cancer center in the world to help me get back to my “new normal.”  I also have unwavering faith in God that He will not give me anything I cannot handle.  There is no doubt in my mind I can survive this test and come out stronger!     

Dr. Sarah and the Booby King

Tuesday started at 9:00 AM with Dr. Sarah, who is the surgeon assigned to my case.   For some reason I can’t bring myself to use her last name because she reminds me of my oldest daughter, Brittney.  So to me, she is simply Dr. Sarah.  But before we actually met, I was visited by her entourage which included a nurse and two Physician Assistants.  I guess these people are sort of like the warmup band getting me ready for the main event. 

So Dr. Sarah came in and I instantly liked her but I could tell Romeo was slightly skeptical and began giving her the third degree.  Yes, she looked very young, but my analytics quickly told me she was older than she looked.   My accounting friends will totally understand my thinking and hopefully agree with my age calculation:  College + Medical school + Residency + her fellowship + her tenure at M.D. Anderson, equals she is for sure older than Dr. Shorty Pants, and most likely in her late thirties.  So there you have it… she is old enough to be a real doctor.  Plus, this is the BEST Cancer Treatment Center in the World.  Given that fact, I am pretty sure they wouldn’t let any slackers slide in the back door. 

So after Dr. Sarah and I debated the single mastectomy versus double, we came to a negotiated agreement.  Dr. Sarah was pro-single (as was Romeo).  I was not necessarily pro-double, but since I had three doctors in the past month tell me it was my best option, I needed her to persuade me why these doctors were wrong.  Of course, she didn’t say they were “wrong” she just felt that taking a healthy breast because I “might” get cancer was not necessary.  Especially since my BRCA genetic testing came back negative that I am NOT carrying a cancer gene (can I get a Halleluiah?). Yes, my chances of getting cancer on the other side may be a tiny bit higher than the average lady, but not enough to justify doing them both.  Whew… this was exactly what I wanted to hear, because really I was pro-single too!

But, our agreement was she would remove the cancer side first and when I came back for my final reconstructive surgery in 6 months, if I wanted the other side removed, she would do it then.  She just didn’t want to jeopardize the recovery period of the “sick” side by taking the “healthy” side at the same time.    I know what you are thinking…. Why would I want to do it one at a time and go through all that pain and misery twice?  Well, her explanation was removing the healthy breast would be easier because they could do immediate reconstruction at the same time.  Either way, its two surgeries, gives me more time to think about it and won’t be as traumatic.  Boom – I’m sold!

So my next big decision was selecting a plastic surgeon.  I am pretty sure I didn’t want the surgeon who rebuilt that lady who flashed me her “new construction” at the mammogram office, but I forgot to ask who she used.  My only reference was from my friend, Trace who is actually a friend of a friend who I have become friends with in the last month.  (Sorry about using “friends” four times in one sentence.  I hope my English teachers, Mrs. Robertson or Mrs. Dodds, won’t judge me too much).  Anyway, Trace was treated at M.D. Anderson just a couple years ago.  Bless her heart, she has shared so much of her experience and has been so helpful in answering my millions of stupid and personal questions. 

Anyway, Trace believes she had the best plastic surgeon at M.D. Anderson.  Apparently, he is THE Booby King of all the Land (hereafter referred to as BK).  Besides Trace’s endorsement, I figured this out by looking at his impressive Physician profile on the MD Anderson site.  But there is bad news, when Dr. Sarah tried to coordinate schedules with BK, he was unavailable until after Christmas!    What???  Oh no!!  How can I wait that long or use anyone but the BEST?   In a sweet and understanding voice Dr. Sarah encouraged me to select someone else because I shouldn’t wait until January.  So, I tell her I will think about it and call her back.

So I begin praying at lunch that BK has a cancellation and he can see me before Christmas.  Then I start texting Trace to help me come up with a plan.  Our first plan was for me to call and say it was an emergency… I had cancer.  But, then we decided everyone probably uses that line at M.D. Anderson.  So the second plan was to call my Patient Advocate to see if she could pull any strings.  So I call and left her a pitiful voicemail that I need help getting into see BK ASAP (you know because I’m dying).  Then I call Dr. Sarah’s office (in my most confident voice) and let them know I’m not selecting another plastic surgeon and want BK even if I have to wait until January.   

You’re not going to believe this, but three hours later, I received a call informing me I have an appointment with BK for a consultation Friday and then he could do my surgery on 11/7/2012. Obviously, I accepted the appointment as I am jumping for joy, doing the happy dance, and thanking God for allowing me to see the Booby King!

So now we are just hanging out until Friday to see BK.  But, it’s not too bad because we drove to Galveston to see my Dad and Mary Ann.   It’s actually a pretty cool place to “wait” for a couple days.  We are certainly enjoying being with family, near the beach and catching a few rays. 

Hello Houston!

We had originally intended to fly to Houston but decided at the last minute to drive since we really didn’t know how long we would be here.  So we jumped into Romeo’s old Lexus (this is peer pressure intending to embarrass him into getting a newer car) and headed south on Sunday.  Eight hours later and a couple trips through McDonald’s drive-thru we were here!  Whew… it was a long way and I hate being in the car more than 30 minutes.  But somehow I can survive if I think of it as an eating tour of fast food chains that I wouldn’t normally allow myself to indulge. 

We checked into the Rotary House which is the hotel owned by M.D. Anderson.  My parents had stayed there numerous times when my mother was undergoing her cancer treatment.  Anyway, it “looks” like a really nice hotel, but it feels a very sterile and obviously filled with lots of sick and old people.   And since I don’t fit into either of those categories (in my mind anyway), I have requested my Romeo to begin looking for a hip and swanky hotel, including an outdoor pool with a swim-up bar (an all-inclusive would be nice) in his free time.  You know, when he is sitting in waiting rooms, waiting for me. 

Our day started at 7:00 AM when we experienced “New Patient” registration where a nice lady named   Iris (no relation to MRI Ira) checked me in after asking two thousand questions, locking a patient bracelet on my wrist, and walking us to our first appointment.  First, we went to the imaging center for mammograms which revealed a new calcification formation that was missed by the doctors in Oklahoma.  This was a little surprising but in the long run wouldn’t have really mattered because I was planning to get a mastectomy on that side anyway.  Next, I had an ultrasound which revealed some sort of tumor or cyst that had never been discovered.  Thankfully, it was in the same breast, so again, it confirmed a mastectomy was the right surgical procedure.  Even though these two findings were disturbing, it helped us validate we did the right thing by coming to M.D. Anderson for diagnosis and probably treatment.

Tomorrow, we will meet with a doctor to discuss surgery options and long-term treatment.  Hopefully, we will also be able to make an appointment to meet a reconstructive surgeon, because bikini season will be here before you know it!  But seriously, I am still very torn whether to have a single or double mastectomy.  I pray this trip will help me resolve this dilemma and then give me peace with the decision.  I’m not sure I can endure going through this ever again, but removing a healthy part of my body is almost as painful.  Either way, I am definitely interested in understanding my options.

Romeo has been so wonderful.  While he was waiting for me to be done with tests, he researched and planned the rest of our day so we wouldn’t have to go back to the old and sick people hotel.  Instead we went to a really cool urban shopping district for lunch and shopping.  This man knows exactly how to perk up my spirits.  Plus, Christmas is just TEN weeks away and I haven’t even started my shopping.  Thankfully, the shops were decked out for Christmas to help me get in the mood (like I need help).  I couldn’t resist taking this picture of Santa Clause in front of Victoria’s Secret.  

I think Santa is thinking about who has been naughty.

That’s it for now, friends.  But stay tuned because I have a really good story related to this lady showing me her new "reconstruction job" today.  Oh my, even if I get designer boobs and they look AMAZING, I think I will still just keep them to myself.  

Thanks for all the prayers and positive thoughts coming my way.  I truly feel and appreciate them so much!  XOXO

Rudolph the Blue Nose Reindeer

This post is part two of “You want me to put  my lady parts where?” so if you haven’t read it, click on the post title in this sentence before you read, "Rudolph the Blue Nose Reindeer."  I promise, you don't want to miss the first part of the story.

So after the MRI was finally over, we met with the surgeon to discuss surgery options (Lumpectomy versus Mastectomy).  So Romeo and I show up at the doctors’ office after lunch hoping the MRI results had been sent and we could actually discuss the results.

Thankfully the MRI was available and the “movement” Ira was ticked about did not mess up the pictures (I knew she was a drama queen!).  So the surgeon explains there are about 10,000 images taken during an MRI, but we only looked at a dozen or so (thank heavens).  Now, as you may recall before the MRI started, Ira required me to lie on my tummy on a skinny little board and place my lady parts in the cutouts for the test (facing down).  So you can just imagine what the images looked like as the doctor starts showing them up on the (really big) flat screen.  Yes, perfectly perky parts and the tips reminded me of Rudolph the Red Nose reindeer, except with a bright blue nose.  

I noticed Romeo kept on smiling and I wondered what was so funny.  After all we are at a doctor’s office talking about something really serious.  Hello, I’ve got cancer, remember?  I tried to ignore him because I figured he was enjoying seeing my lady parts magnified to 40 times their regular size (with blue lights).    

What is it with men and boobs?   Yesterday, my high school friend Wayland posted a T-shirt he was wearing in honor of Breast Cancer Awareness month.  I'll have to admit, it was cute and clever, but really…. Who wears a shirt like this unless you’re fifteen?  But, it's the thought that counts.  Thanks Wayland!

Okay, so the doctor is pointing out various things in the images, and in the corner of my eye, I see Romeo slowly (and very sneaky) pulling his phone from his pocket.  Just as he is about to snap a picture, we lock eyes and he quickly understands he needs to stop or he might be walking back home (which is about 100 miles away)!  Can you believe that?  Romeo was actually going to take a picture of my MRI images!  Like, what was he going to do with them?  Show them to his buddies at work or use it as our Christmas card this year?  The ideas are just endless... 

So Romeo begrudgingly puts his phone back in his pocket with a sad face.  Yes, I have totally ruined his fun and thankfully have jerked him back into reality.  At this point, I was very happy I had decided NOT to take a Valium before the MRI.  Who knows what might have happened if I had!

This little incident explains why I am on a “Cancer Honeymoon” indefinitely.  Yes, it is very rewarding and almost fun.  Anything I want to buy, or do, or have Romeo do for me is all fair game.  Like I said before, having cancer isn’t all that bad.

You want me to put my lady parts where?

Magnetic Resonance Imaging – MRI.  Have you ever had an MRI?  It wasn’t too bad, but I am not too excited about doing it again.  But before I share my experience, let’s review the events leading up to this test: 

• My annual mammogram was performed and something looked abnormal
• A Stereotactic Biopsy was performed by Dr. Shorty Pants, ED and a stressed-out Nurse
• Nurse Grandma called and said I had the Big “C” and would need a MRI and surgery

So a couple hours after Nurse Grandma informs me I have cancer, the MRI scheduler calls.  She tells me if I am claustrophobic I should call my doctor to get some drugs, because this test might freak me out if I don’t like to be enclosed.  Since I have never had a MRI, I am not really sure if I “do” or “don’t” like to be enclosed.  Is it strange that I don’t know this about myself? I mean, I can handle being in a crowded elevator or a tanning bed, so maybe I’ll be okay?   Just to be safe, I decided to call my doctor. 

I call my Doc and request a prescription to help me get through a MRI (and by the way, I’ve got breast cancer).  She tells me how sorry she is, blah, blah, blah and says “no problem, I’ll call you in some valium and do you need Prozac too?”  Umm… no, I am not even sure I need the valium, but I’m feeling relatively happy so I decline anything for depression (unless the MRI is going to be performed by Dr. Shorty Pants and then I will need morphine). 

Since I don’t ever recall having valium, I’m not sure how it will affect me.  My only experience is when Romeo took it before his vasectomy and that was really funny.  Not the vasectomy, but how the drug altered his personality while he was waiting for “his” turn to get the big “V”.  Let’s just say he kept everyone in the waiting room entertained as he made fun of every male who gingerly walked out of the office (obviously just having “their” turn).  With that memory, I decided I wouldn’t take the valium because I wanted to be in full control of my personality when we met with the breast surgeon after the MRI.  So back to MY story…

The MRI technician is a nice young girl with perfectly white skin and beautiful auburn hair (we’ll call her Ira).  So Ira asks me if I have ever had an MRI before because some people just “can’t do it.”  But I reassured her I don’t think I’ll have a problem since tanning beds don’t bother me.  Ira’s eyebrows go up and she turns red.  Oh no… I should have known she was a sun hater; I brace myself for the tanning bed lecture.  Okay, so after I convince Ira I had only been in a tanning bed to see how it “felt” (not to actually use it) for purposes of this MRI, she begins giving me her (sunless) life story as she attempts to start my IV.   I am quietly praying for forgiveness for loving tanning beds and lying to Ira. 

As a side note, as far as I can tell, the purpose of the IV is it places bright blue dye into my bloodstream to enhance the imaging experience for the surgeon (and Romeo).  This ensures they have fun looking at my lady parts while also seeing my “colorful” cancer on the MRI films.  But that’s a story later to be told…

As Ira is starting my IV, I’m trying not to look because it typically makes me feel woozy.  But when she makes a noise that alerts me there is a problem, I look down and see I have a knot the size of a large marble on my hand where she just removed the IV needle.  I uncontrollably make that same noise that happens when I am in the car with Romeo and we are about to have a horrible accident (in my mind anyways).   You know the one where you breathe in real deep and it makes a surprised noise in your throat?  Romeo just HATES when I make that noise because it alarms him even more than the screaming after I catch my breath.  Anyway….. Ira manages to get the IV needle into my purple hand and walks me to the sewer pipe MRI machine to begin the test.

So, Ira tells me to lie on this narrow little board, on my stomach with my lady parts placed into the two cutouts.  I’m thinking… first, I am not even sure that little board is going to hold me up and, second, if it does, can I keep my balance until they slide me into that tiny hole?   At this point, I was wishing I had taken the valium even if it did alter my personality.

Somehow, I made it through the test even though the banging noise was really loud and my hand was throbbing from the first IV attempt.  After Ira slid me out, she complained she had to do the test three times because I was moving too much.  This was a sure sign we would probably not be BFF’s because Ira was just a little ticked.    

So that’s all for now because Brittney (my blogger advisor) keeps telling me my blogs are waaaay too long.  So tomorrow (or in a day or so), I will post the rest of the story which describes the interesting MRI images we viewed at the surgeon’s office.  Romeo refers to this story as “The Blue Nips,” but I personally think that is a little graphic and unlady-like for one of my post titles.  So we will see…. but stay tuned!

Retail Therapy

Today we met with an Oklahoma City plastic surgeon to understand reconstruction options if a single or bilateral mastectomy was elected.   This is the second reconstruction surgeon we have interviewed; which is very helpful because it provides more education and helps me understand my options better.  It also validates what I already know and will hopefully help me come to a competent decision.

Next week we will be traveling to M.D. Anderson in Houston to meet with various doctors to confirm my diagnosis, surgery recommendations and explore other treatment options. 

On the home front, Romeo and Mikayla are happy I’m feeling back to normal and performing my regular weekend activities such as laundry, cooking and grocery shopping.  But, I do want to disclaim, my Cancer Honeymoon is not over as I required a little more Retail Therapy while Brittney was in town on Saturday.  Yes, we bought a few more Loft items that support Breast Cancer Research called “Live in Pink.”  

I don’t know about you, but I’m just feeling the need to support and find a cure ASAP!  So, if you have a Loft in your area, you might check out their Live in Pink Collection.  I purchased a cute t-shirt and pink sequin skirt.  And, I wouldn't be surprised if you wanted to buy the exact same items and THEN we can be Twinkies (which is fine with me)!

We also stopped by Kirkland’s and purchased some insulated cups that support Breast Cancer Research.  Here is a picture of my cup (that's herbal tea by the way):    

Brittney’s cup says “Big or Small, Save them All.”

Speaking of Brittney..... she is an established “blogger” and is the person who has forced inspired me to blog about my journey.  You can check out her blog over at Brittney’s Orr-dinary Life.  I believe you will find her stories funny and interesting as she is navigating life as a single, young professional.  I might be biased since she is my daughter, but I think she is adorable.  My very favorite post  is about a staff meeting at her first corporate job.  It is absolutely hilarious (and so Brittney)!

I’m still working on the story of the MRI experience and will be posting it soon. Thanks for stopping by and Happy Monday!    

Angel Of Healing

I have been so humbled with the outpouring of support and concern from family, friends and coworkers.  Since my diagnosis three weeks ago I have appreciated these relationships much deeper.  It has been so uplifting to realize how much all these wonderful people really care about me.  

I have received so many cards, flowers, texts, emails, phone calls, gift cards, and even a beautiful sweater to keep me warm and cozy this winter from Brittney’s sorority Big Sister, Autumn.  I am totally overwhelmed by all these expressions of love and can't even put into words how deeply these gestures have touched my heart.

But there was something I received from my friend Glynys that was much more than a gift to make me feel better. I truly believe God worked through her to send me a message.  But let me back up and give you a little history so you understand my point of view. 

Many of you know my mother died four years ago after battling breast cancer for eleven months.  It was devastating because I have always been a Momma’s girl and talked to her almost every day on the phone since I left home for college.   During the last couple weeks, I have missed her more than usual and would give anything to feel her arms around me and hear her say, “It’s going to be okay Andy-Pandy” just like she did so many times in my life.

After she died, my father sold their home and gave many of their family heirlooms to me, my siblings, extended family and friends because he was downsizing to a smaller residence.  Over the years, when my dad visits me, he sometimes brings another family trinket he believes I would enjoy.  About a year ago he brought me a box of Christmas items.  Inside were many of the ornaments I made as a child, as well as a collection of Santas and angel figurines.  I asked him about some of the figurines I didn’t recognize and he indicated he didn’t really remember where they came from but assumed they were the product of one of my mother’s many shopping excursions.  (Apparently Retail Therapy worked for her too!)     

So let’s fast forward to when I received the gift from Glynys.  One afternoon a couple weeks ago Romeo brought home a beautifully wrapped package and card addressed to me that he found on his desk.  Inside was an angel with a little card that said:

Angel of Healing

For those who give comfort with caring and tenderness

This is the angel and a picture of my sweet Momma

I immediately recognized the angel and remembered it was just like the one my Dad had given me with the Christmas items a year ago.  I suddenly realized someone had given my mother the same "Angel of Healing" during her battle with cancer.   As I held it in my hands, I felt the warm comfort of my mother’s arms around me and could mentally hear her voice telling me I was going to be okay and she would be with me.   

Glynys, thank you for this wonderful and unexpected treasure.  And Glory to God that its meaning allowed me to feel my mother’s comfort when I needed it most. 

Dr. Shorty Pants

Since I really don’t have any new updates and we are still interviewing doctors to select an appropriate breast and reconstruction surgeon, I thought I would back up a bit and describe my experience having a Stereotactic Needle Biopsy.  As you may have recalled from my first blog, this procedure caused me to have Post Traumatic Booby Stress Syndrome (PTBSS).

The week before I had this procedure, the radiologist explained there wouldn’t be any or much pain involved in this biopsy.  She said I would be sufficiently numbed up and would only feel a little pressure.  So I arrived at the breast center that morning thinking it would be a non-event (big mistake... I should have taken a couple of Valiums and maybe had a margarita).   

My first impression of the doctor performing the biopsy was not very reassuring, but I didn't panic yet.  He reminded me of the twelve year-old kid who lives across the street from us (who is brilliant by the way).  I know it's hard to imagine, but I swear it is true, I was sitting on the examining table and he was standing directly in front of me, and we were eye to eye.   Yes, this young doctor was only five feet tall (or something like that).   Now, please be assured I have no biases against shorter people (because I am married to one), but Dr. Shorty Pants just looked too young to be performing medical tests on anyone and especially on ME.   Secondly, he asked my permission if the medical equipment salesman could come in during the procedure to show him a few tricks on the new software they recently installed.  Red flag, RED FLAG!!!  At this point, I should have told Dr. Shorty Pants I had an emergency and then run screaming from the room.  But of course, I was being "cool" and said that would be fine.  I was mentally hoping the account rep would appear to be at least the age of my oldest child and could provide guidance to young Dr. Shorty Pants.

So the medical Equipment Dude (ED) comes in and the procedure begins.  I quickly realize Dr. Shorty Pants has NEVER used this medical equipment before and ED is walking him through the whole process (spoon feeding to be specific).  In the meantime my entire body starts trembling because I am so nervous Dr. Shorty Pants is going to mess it up or hurt me even more than I am anticipating.  Also, the attending nurse is frustrated and acting stressed because she can’t get the imaging software to work when Dr. Shorty Pants asks her to take another picture.   So basically, everyone is stressed out in the room (especially me) as this 20 minute procedure takes an hour.

Anyway, the process to obtain the biopsy was quite painful even though Dr. Shorty Pants assured me they had given me enough medicine to numb a horse.  The stressed out nursed kept saying I couldn't possibly be feeling any pain and was trying to convince me I was just feeling "pressure."   Umm... yes, I know the difference between pain and pressure!   The doctor's first attempt to retrieve tissue samples was a total failure.  Apparently, he missed the target entirely and when they tested the samples, it didn’t include any of the calcification.  Oh great….  So this means they had to move this gigantic bow and arrow needle around to a different area (oh my heavens, I think I might just faint).  Thankfully ED (who is now becoming my hero) gave Dr. Shorty Pants some very specific direction on how to reposition the needle to ensure he would retrieve the tissue from the right spot and give the patient a more "pleasant" experience.  I kid you NOT, he actually said that while  standing two feet away from me (like I was fake patient).  This time they obtained some good tissue samples and thankfully the procedure was finally over!  Thank you Sweet Jesus!

As I was receiving my take home instructions from the stressed out nursed, there were about 3 or 4 technicians in the room trying to figure out how to send the images taken during the biopsy to the lab.  Apparently, they had never used this software and were whispering they hoped they hadn't deleted the whole file.  I was quietly praying they would get it to work because I knew there was no way I was EVER going through this procedure again!

So that sums up why I may have PTBSS for the rest of my life.  My sister, Karla believes I may need psychological therapy before I can trust any immature looking, shorter male doctors again.  I think she might be right.  In fact, every time I see that kid across the street playing in his front yard, I have horrible flashbacks of Dr. Shorty Pants.   

In an upcoming blog I will describe the MRI experience.  It was an odd experience which involved another interesting character, along with some funny commentary by my Romeo.  I can honestly say, the joys of having breast cancer are certainly providing me endless opportunities to experience new things and meet interesting people. 

Hope ya’ll have made your mammy appointments since last time we talked!  If not, please do it now!

I’m on a Cancer Honeymoon!

Cancer does suck… don’t get me wrong.  Obviously I am not thrilled about what is ahead of me but I will have to say I am beginning to see the silver lining.  So here are some of the positives that I am thankful (they are not in any particular order):

Romeo – He cooks dinner every night because I’m not hungry and can’t even think about cooking or going to the grocery store.  But don’t worry, he is force feeding me so I am getting plenty of nutrition.

No Gym-Guilt - I don’t feel guilty about not working out every day.  I know, I know, I need to keep going to stay strong, but I’ve enjoyed the break since my surgery.  But I did go this morning for a modified workout and did appreciate those wonderful endorphins after I finished!

Lots of Attention – Yes, I am one of those people who love it.  Seriously, I have been touched by so many family, friends, coworkers and even strangers expressing their sincere concern for me.  I am totally overwhelmed by all the well wishes and love.  Thank you!!!!

Retail Therapy – These are the words I say when my Romeo gives me “that” look.  Some people eat when they are stressed, but I like to shop!  My friend Karen (she is actually my boss but also one of my best friends) says retail therapy cures most problems.  Since Brittney has been visiting me more often in the last month, our shopping activities have increased.  We decided a couple weeks ago we should redecorate my house with new lamps and reframe some of my mother’s art.  While we’ve been out looking for bargains, we noticed Loft (my favorite shop in the whole world) happened to be having a sale.  Well… like I said, I am feeling much better.  My friend Karen, she is a total genius for the therapy suggestion.  

Laurie – She is my new neighbor who has been building a new home across the street for what seems forever!   She just happens to be a VIP with Mercy Oncology and has helped me get into see all the best doctors in the state!  She has been such a blessing to me and my Romeo.  I feel like I’ve known her for twenty years and love her like a sister.   There is no doubt in my mind; God strategically placed her in my life to help me through this journey.  Thank you, Laurie!

Kosmo - My Maltese suddenly loves me more now than he loves Romeo.  How do dogs know there is something wrong and try to make you feel better?  The dog spit is a bit stinky, but his intentions are so sweet.

Romeo – Have I mentioned him before?  Well, he is the best husband in the world.  I mean, he was good before, but WOW I never knew he could be so nurturing.  He has been to every doctor’s appointment, held me close when we heard bad news and has come home in a flash whenever I needed him. 

Brandon - My College aged son calls more often and attends church with me almost every Sunday.  Love you Bubby and thank you for being a good boy!

My Girls – Brittney and Mikayla have been so strong and brave throughout this experience.  They have been very supportive and encouraged me so much.  Mikayla is my little prayer warrior and Brittney is my sounding board and blogging consultant.  Thank you girls, Mommy loves you so much!

Designer Boobs – I guess if you have to have cancer and then reconstructed breasts you might as well set your standards high (no pun intended).

What? I've got Cancer?

A month ago today my journey began when I went in for my annual mammogram.  I wasn’t having any problems and didn’t have any lumps, bumps or anything strange going on.  Mikayla had ridden over to Tulsa with me because she had a dentist appointment.  Since Mikayla was out of school, I had taken the day off and we were planning to have a “girls day” full of shopping in between our appointments and getting my hair done by Lisa (my beloved Tulsa hairdresser).  I was really looking forward to the day because Mikayla is usually so busy and we hardly ever get to be together for several hours on the same day.  

So... back to the story.  My first clue something was wrong during the mammogram was when the technician said she wanted to let the radiologist look at the images real quick before I got dressed.  Typically they say you will get the results in a couple days and may be called back …. Blah, blah, blah.  But this time it was a little different and she acted a little nervous.  Anyway, the mammogram images indicated I had a formation of calcifications that needed to be biopsied.  The radiologist explained I would need to come back the following week for a stereotactic needle biopsy.   My first reaction was, “what? you’re going to do what to me and it’s not going to hurt?"   As the doctor was trying to explain the mammogram results all I could think about was my mother who died four years ago after battling breast cancer for only 11 months.  She didn’t die of breast cancer, but her body was not strong enough to withstand the treatments.

A week later I returned to the same office for the stereotactic needle biopsy (that wasn’t going to hurt).    Let me just say, this procedure was NOT fun!  The nurse had told me I would be numbed and would only feel a little pressure, but she was very wrong.  It felt like someone had shot me in the booby with a gigantic bow and arrow!   I know you are probably thinking I am exaggerating, but this was really traumatic.  Okay, so obviously I made it through the procedure, but the whole “you’ll just feel a little pressure” is total BS.  In fact, after sharing this event with my friend Deborah, she told me she had a similar experience and believes we may both have what she refers to as PTBSS (Post Traumatic Booby Stress Syndrome).  We both laughed, but seriously, I definitely have this problem (and so does she)!

On September 13, I received the “call” to inform me by a very sweet and grandmotherly voice that I tested positive for breast cancer.   Nurse Grandma explained I had non-invasive Ductal Carcinoma In Situ (DCIS) and someone would be contacting me later to schedule a MRI.  She also mentioned I would need to schedule an appointment with a breast surgeon to discuss my treatment options.    Even though she was really nice and reassuring, I wanted to scream she had the wrong number and hang up.  But, of course, I didn’t.  I simply thanked her for calling and wished her a nice day.    I immediately called Romeo (my loving husband, Ron) and had a meltdown.

September 18, I had a MRI (which is a whole different blog I’ll write about later) and then Romeo and I met with the breast surgeon, Dr. Frame to discuss the diagnosis and treatment options.  Following the discussion we scheduled a lumpectomy for the following Tuesday.

On the day of surgery, I went back to the Breast Center and had a Localization Mammogram.   This procedure consists of inserting two wires around the area that needs to be removed for the lumpectomy.   Again, the nurses reassured me it wouldn’t hurt, but as you remember, I have a severe case of PTBSS and believe people in pink scrubs are liars.  Thankfully for me, the procedure was a piece of cake and really didn’t hurt that much. Later that morning the lumpectomy was performed without problems and Romeo drove me home, tucked me into bed and I don’t remember anything else until the next day.  Surgery drugs ROCK!

Two days later, September 28  we received a call from Dr. Frame explaining the pathology didn’t come back with clear margins (not enough healthy tissue around the DCIS area removed) and they also discovered a small tumor (2.5 mm) that was invasive (the cancer had spread outside of the ducts).   This was shocking because it had not shown up on any of the mammograms or MRI.   It's was really on accident they even found it!  He asked us to come back to his office the next day to discuss more surgery and how the treatment plan would need to change.  This was a devastating blow.   Thankfully, Romeo was home and was there to comfort me while I had a pity-party.  Have I mentioned he is the best husband ever?

Since that day we have met with numerous doctors from oncologist, breast surgeons, plastic surgeons to confirm Dr. Frame’s findings and learn more about my cancer.  The common theme we've heard is the safest surgery option is a mastectomy.  This was quite shocking at first, but I believe I'm convinced the more I am educated.  Yesterday we met with a specialist to discuss genetic testing to determine if I am  carrying a "cancer" gene that could be passed down to my children.  Even though my insurance might not cover, we decided it was something we must know.  It will also help me decide if I want to consider a double mastectomy.  Meeting with all these medical professionals has been extremely educational but also overwhelming.  But the good news is each doctor has confirmed if I am treated appropriately (there are numerous options), I am NOT going to die from this disease.   Fortunately, this cancer was caught very early and is highly treatable.  Yes, you heard that right... I am totally going to kick this cancer's ass (sorry about the profanity but I'm pretty passionate about this point!)

So Ladies, have you had your annual exam this year?  If not, please do not delay one more day because it could save your life.  Ask your mother, sister, wife, aunts and coworkers to do the same.  October is Breast Cancer Awareness month so take advantage of all the information being offerred on television, radio, magazines, etc.  I started having mammograms at age 32 even though the guidelines say to begin at 40.  If you are not 40 and have any concerns about your breast health, please don’t wait.  Take action now!